Will you accept this rose and can I touch you in bad places?

I haven't watched The Bachelor in a long time, but for some reason I am watching it now. If you haven't been paying attention the Bachelor is a doctor, in the Navy, does Philanthropy work, was in the past three Iron Man Triathlons, is physically attractive, and I think he cured cancer last year. He is thirty, has all this going for him and he's single? I don't know about you, but that sounds a little fishy. He also seems to be a bit touchy feely. However, some people are like that...like sex offenders. I have a feeling this guy is a dirty perv manwhore or hiding something really profound. I am going with dirty perv manwhore.